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0It was a little short & didn’t have much detail but all around a great story. Beeg It felt like you were just listing everything that happened. It felt like you were just listing everything that happened. It felt like you were just listing everything that happened. But 1 thing is you said she was a virgin so no matter she would have felt pain when that guy rammed his dick in her pussy. But 1 thing is you said she was a virgin so no matter she would have felt pain when that guy rammed his dick in her pussy. 3 comments«1»anonymous readerReport 2010-09-06 11:10:21It would have been an alright story line if u knew how to write properly. Detail matters. You should definitely make a part two. There was no flow to the story. You should definitely make a part two. Also, think about continuity and having even a fantasy make sense.Anonymous readerReport 2010-06-25 21:42:31Pretty great story. You should definitely make a part two. You should definitely make a part two. Detail matters. A spell check run would have caught many errors. But 1 thing is you said she was a virgin so no matter she would have felt pain when that guy rammed his dick in her pussy. But still like I said, a great story 10/10«1» But still like I said, a great story 10/10«1» But still like I said, a great story 10/10«1» Detail matters.